A Little TLC

"The mind is its own place and, in itself can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven." - John Milton

If we’ve been connected on social media or my blog for any length of time between 2016 and now, you know that I share something with single women every year around Valentine’s Day. Even when I was single, I posted something to encourage myself and others. But this year, I almost didn’t. I wondered if anyone really needed encouragement today.

Sitting here at 4:12 p.m. on Valentine’s Day, I’m not entirely sure the answer is yes. Nonetheless, I still felt prompted to write. So if it interests you today, let’s engage in a little TLC — a thought life check.

The emotions you may feel today aren’t new, but this season has a way of amplifying them. Everywhere you turn, there are reminders suggesting you’re missing out. Flowers at the checkout line. Engagement posts online. Romantic dinners all over your timelines.

And while that alone can sting, there’s something that often adds even more weight: The thoughts we think.

Our thoughts can either hold us gently—or quietly tear us apart. So let me ask you something from a place of love: what’s been running through your mind today? Are the thoughts you’re hearing rooted in the truth?

Over the past year, I’ve been paying closer attention to my own thought life. We cannot always control what pops into our minds… but we can choose which thoughts we allow to stay.

Your thoughts are the soundtrack of your heart. And soundtracks matter. They set the mood and influence how we interpret what’s happening around us.

So today, what’s playing on repeat? If it sounds like any of these things, we need to change the music:

“I’m behind.”

“God forgot me.”

“Everyone else is moving forward.”

“Maybe I’m too much… or not enough.”

“This will never happen for me.”

“I should be further by now.”

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is pause long enough to notice the narrative forming underneath the feelings. That’s scary, I know. But it’s important. Thoughts don’t just float by… they start telling a story.

If someone had to write a story about who God is using only the thoughts that run through your mind… what kind of God would they describe?

Would He seem distant, impatient, uninvolved, or disappointed in you? Or would He look faithful, present, and tender?

I’ve suffered insurmountable injury not because of what others have done to me, but because of what I allowed myself to chew on mentally. When I look back at the damage, I’m utterly convinced that I can’t afford to have thoughts in my head about me that God doesn’t have in His.

If the thought becomes: “I am alone and forgotten,” the day grows heavier.

If the thought is: “This is a tender season, and God is still near,” something steadier begins to form. I’m not asking you to be in denial, but I am asking you to embrace what’s true even if your feelings don’t align. Both hard feelings and truth can coexist.

The Bible says the heart can be difficult to understand. I find comfort in that, because it means I’m not strange for having complicated emotions.

But here’s the hopeful part: God is not intimidated by what’s inside your heart.

He is not surprised by your sadness, He is not disappointed in your longing, and He is not rolling His eyes at your tears. He sees it all and He handles your heart with care.

When David prayed for the meditation of his heart to be acceptable to God, I don’t think he was pretending to have it all together. I think he was acknowledging that he needed help. That his inner world needed tending. And maybe that’s all we need today, too.

Not a dramatic shift, or microwavable joy. Just a vulnerable willingness to say: “Lord, help me think in alignment with what is true.”

When your mind says, “I’m forgotten”, respond, “God sees me.”

When your mind says, “I’m behind,” maybe say, “My life is not on pause.”

When your mind says, “I’m unchosen,” maybe you remember, “I am deeply loved right now.” Not because you feel it fully, but because it is true.

Friend, you don’t have to minimize your desire for romantic love. It’s a good desire. It reflects the relational nature of the God who made you.

Please remember:

• Your longing does not mean you are lacking.

• Your timeline does not mean you are delayed.

• This season does not mean you are unseen.

Today, maybe the encouragement isn’t to force yourself into celebration. It may just be accepting an invitation to pick up headphones and listen to the soundtrack of your heart.

Notice what’s playing. And if the music turns harsh, invite the Lord into it. Let Him play sweet love songs in your heart. They’ll sound something like this:

• “I know the plans I have for you… plans for your good.”

• “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.”

• “He withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly.”

• “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

• “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage.”